That's why some people are always late

An appointment in the beer garden at 8 p.m. had been arranged. At a quarter past eight, the friend writes to say he'll be late. Again! Why do some people just can't manage to arrive on time? Ralf Buchstaller, a psychologist with a doctorate from TÜV NORD, explains what could be behind it all.

Everyone is late sometimes. But for some, it's the rule. Whether it's the friend who is always late for an after-work beer or the boss who always turns up a few minutes after the meeting has started: For those waiting, it feels as if the latecomers are behaving inconsiderately and disrespectfully towards them. “However, tardiness usually has nothing to do with them,” says psychologist Ralf Buchstaller from the Medical-Psychological Institute of TÜV NORD in Hamburg.

Sometimes chronic lateness can indicate narcissistic traits, for example when someone claims a special position with their unpunctuality. Or the behavior arises from a passive-aggressive attitude, for example when the person waiting has to listen to someone telling them to take it easy.

However, psychologist Jeff Conte from San Diego State University has also found evidence that some people have a distorted perception of time. When test subjects are asked to tell when a minute has passed without a watch, creative, relaxed personalities significantly misjudge the time on average: for them, a minute lasts 77 seconds on average. Ambitious and organized people have a better sense of time; for them, a minute is already over after 58 seconds. According to Conte, multitasking also plays a role: those who like to do several things at the same time are more likely to be late. Multitasking presumably reduces the capacities required for time awareness.

The foundations for time management are laid in the family, reports a team led by psychologist Jennifer Weil Malatras from the University at Albany. According to the study, children who grow up with daily routines have fewer problems meeting deadlines as adults. The researchers surveyed almost 300 young adults about their childhood: about family life, meals and bedtimes, school and leisure time. Regular activities not only helped to develop good time management, but also to prevent attention disorders in adulthood. 

So is chronic lateness less a question of character than a cognitive deficit? At least that's what some researchers say. According to the Nobel Prize winner in economics and psychologist Daniel Kahneman and his colleague Amos Tversky, many people succumb to a ‘planning fallacy’: they considerably underestimate the time they will need for a task.

And even if they know that they have to reckon with delays, they do not calculate them realistically, as Gérald Bronner from the University of Paris-Diderot demonstrated. He set 700 people the following task: A man wants to get from A to B. To do so, he has to overcome four obstacles, and the chances of success are 80 percent for each one. What is the chance that he will succeed at all four? Every second respondent believed that the probability was still 80 percent. But it is actually 41 percent (p = 0.84 = 0.41). So many people underestimate the combined risk of failure.

In everyday life, however, it is not just a matter of assessing the preparation for an appointment, calculating possible stumbling blocks and developing a realistic plan. It's also about sticking to the plan - with the help of an external timer.

Psychologist Emily Waldum and her colleague Mark McDaniel from Washington University gave test subjects a certain amount of time in which they first had to solve a puzzle and then answer knowledge questions. Beforehand, they were asked to estimate how long it would take them to answer the questions. Their success depended on how well they succeeded and how often they looked at the clock.

The researchers derived a number of tips from this: first, realistically estimate the time required for each task and activity individually. Then formulate a plan with intermediate goals: When do I need to finish one thing and start another? And last but not least: keep an eye on the clock and stick to the plan.

However, the chronically late will only take this to heart if they recognize the problem and want to change. Ralf Buchstaller from TÜV NORD recommends that those waiting should first ask whether there is perhaps a good reason for the frequent delays. If not, they could describe how the wait makes them feel. If that doesn't help either, you can draw the consequences and only arrange to meet at home, for example, says psychologist Ralf Buchstaller. “Or you can come to terms with the waiting if the positive aspects of the friendship outweigh the negative ones, and always take a good book with you.”

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